We are so busy doing that we forget being. The art of “Be a Fierce You” takes persistence and resilience to come to fruition.
In order for this to happen, you need to practice focused attention on what matters most in your life otherwise chaos sets in, and desperation will be your best friend. The Art of Being you doesn’t happen from one day to the next. It takes persistence, tenacity, and resilience to navigate the setbacks in your life so, ask yourself:
“Does this serve me right now? And is it aligned with what I want?
We are so focused on pleasing others and avoiding unpleasant circumstances in life that we forget to just be ourselves. Our careers take center stage most of our lives and so we forget to pursue our dreams and desires. Transitioning from a single life of no set times for anything (except going to work) and becoming a mother isn’t an easy journey to take and it comes with its tribulations.
You see… We are attracted to what is familiar to us because that is what we know and so it’s easier to endure. For anything else that is a bit more challenging, we close our eyes and don’t even think of what’s on the other side. In our minds, we make up stories so that we don’t have to experience what’s on the other side of the unknown.
The stories we tell ourselves are super powerful! Do you remember when you were a little girl and every single story you read in a book, you would live as if it was real? You were a character in that book. As you grew, the painful stories started to emerge and you were taken hostage by the narrative. The thing is, you can change that story in your head when you start being true to yourself instead of staying where you are at the moment and living by other people’s rules.
I’ve endured a few transitions in my life. From seeking my own freedom, starting a new venture in a new country, singlehood joys, several career moves, one divorce, two marriages, the pleasures of motherhood and the challenges too, moving back to my home country, and so on. You might be thinking that I am super tenacious and resilient but the truth is that I am just like you.
Sometimes I would just want to curl up and disappear… give up even. However, something stronger was keeping me on my path. And even when I felt like I was going to lose my footing, I would hop and stubbornly still move forward.
I’ve done my fair share of reflection recently and having a daughter who just turned 18, has given me a new perspective on life. My daughter is soon starting her own journey in life, which has made me ponder that no matter what I do or say I’ve got to stop projecting my beliefs onto her and let her navigate the murky waters of life herself so that she can experience each life chapter with clarity, conviction and being in tune with her purpose.
The time for her to “fly away freely and be herself” is approaching.
It is not with sadness that I see this new transition for her but with pride and my heart full of love. Coming from someone that flew away at 25 years old and has been through several storms and extraordinary moments, I know that she is going to follow her dreams and desires because she is the most fearless young woman I’ve ever seen.
I want to inspire her that no matter what happens in her life, she can be brave, and fierce to pursue her truest desires. And I want to same for you too. I hope this article will inspire you to BE you in whatever you do in life.
“Fly away and be you”
Your essence is innate to you
Cocooned like a butterfly,
Subtle beauty grew
A cry and a smile fluttered by.
You run courageous and free
Not a care in the world,
you learned to see and be
cautiously you heard the chirping of birds.
Venturing into your life you have to bear
and discovered many incredible lessons
Teachings to guide you and prepare
This life chapter full of questions.
Gracious, loving, and loved
You grew into a powerful woman,
A million times you’ve been hugged
to turn you into a passionate human.
Go and fly away little butterfly
Contemplate the beautiful flowers
Life is a prairie to be discovered by
and inspire others with your Superpowers.
~ Poem by Sofia Pacifico Reis
No matter what changes you want to have in your life, slow down to listen to the messages that the universe is giving you. Even in the most painful moments, know that it’s up to you to allow those moments to become a gift or an opportunity. You are in control of your thoughts and the words you say to the outer world. Your story can be changed, erased, and recreated just the way you want it to be. It’s your choice to find happiness in your life or remain stagnated and unfulfilled.
What are you choosing to be? Are you a human doing or a human being? Are you going through a major life transition and you don’t know which path to take?
My coaching style allows you to dig deep into the abyss and explore the possibilities you have for your life and business because I believe that we all have within us the power to excel and reach our true potential. It is time to discover the best version of you and own your power back.
I heard this from my client: “I feel like my brain is broken!”.
My eyes watered and I felt a knot in my heart. All I could think about was how can anybody feel this way. I had to shift this feeling quickly in order to guide her and allow her to dig deep into that discomfort and eventually become aware of her true potential and turn that emotion and situation into a gift.
The truth is that all of us have doubts, insecurities, and frustrations lingering and festering within us. The sooner we become aware of those negative feelings like “my brain is broken” and recognise the negative self-talk, the quicker we can shift it into an empowering one.
The reality is that… “What you think about, you bring about” ~ Bob Proctor
Moreover, this disempowering feeling of “my brain is broken” has a reason to be felt in the first place. Exploring the reason why you feel this way, can take you towards finding empowering ways of shifting it. Otherwise, your inner challenges will become your outer reflection meaning that the way you think, feel and act becomes your normal way of being. Just like a crystal glass shattered on the floor and if you attempt to pick it up, you will definitely are going to cut your fingers bringing you more physical pain.
Who wants to feel this way? It sucks, right?
Pain is not only felt physically. You can endure inner mental pain too. The first step is to notice those negative thoughts and feelings that you’ve been carrying around for so long and have the desire to go deeper and find your truest potential… aka going from fearful to fierce.
Please let me reassure you that your brain is not broken. You are just living a life that hasn’t been servicing you for a while.
A way of shifting into a more positive way of living is to build the foundations of mental fitness and experience the power of strengthening three critical mental muscles to shift the balance of power from your inner Saboteurs (your negative self) to your inner Sage (your positive self).
At the beginning of my 6 weeks journey with Positive Intelligence®, I become surprisingly aware of my inner Saboteurs (my negative self-talk) and I knew I had to do something about it so that I wouldn’t be constantly hijacked by them and ultimately embrace my inner Sage (my empowering voice).
Here are my initial Saboteur assessment results 👇
Stickler 6.9 |Pleaser 6.3 |Hyper-Achiever 6.3 |Avoider 5.6 |Controller 5 |Victim 4.4 | Hyper-Vigilant 3.8 |Restless 2.5 |Hyper-Rational 0.6
Consequently, as I start my 1st cohort with my coachees at the Mental Fitness Program group, I’ve done a new assessment as I want to be at the same level as everybody to best guide them. Besides, it is very insightful to discover how the Mental Fitness Program has changed my life. How you can grow and evolve with the help of such a great operating system.
So, here are my results after 11 weeks into the Grow Program:
Stickler 8.1 |Hyper-Achiever 6.3 |Restless 5 |Controller 5 |Pleaser 3.1 |Avoider 2.5 |Victim 1.9 |Hyper-Vigilant 1.9 |Hyper-Rational 0.6
It is not a surprise that my Stickler would increase to 8.1. Recently I have been super focused on what I want to deliver to my audience and I started thinking if this PQ® operating system has helped me so much and I have to incorporate it into my new coaching program “Become The Best Version of You”. I truly believe that will help my audience to smoothly transition from their current life challenges to becoming fearless warriors.
So I compiled all content provided by Positive Intelligence® and added them to a private members area so that everybody is supported and has a place to go when they are challenged. This perfectionism need is due to my “General” Judge buzzing in my ear saying that “If it’s not done properly and well, why bother” or “you must give 120% Sofia”. I realise that I need to work on letting go of this need in order to have a positive impact on others and my inner growth. I know what to do now and I embrace Progress instead of being Perfect. This is the feeling I want to have every day so that I’m inspired and truly inspire others to take “inspired imperfect action” and follow their dreams.
Hyper Achiever remained the same! Years of corporate life wanting to be included in the company’s culture and be valued for what I’m worth, are still present and even though I have left 7 years ago to start my own business, it feels that the need to perform at my best still remains. I’m at peace with it because I believe now that even though this saboteur exists, it doesn’t rule my life and I know how to intercept it.
Major inner achievement: My Pleaser decreased from 6.3 to 3.1 WOW just WOW! Others are starting to notice my assertiveness and I am converting my YESes into gifts and opportunities and my NOs sound better and feel better. I am putting myself first in my decisions! This is a biggie for me as pleasing others above my own needs was always in my nature. The challenge starts when it becomes resentful and this feeling is ugly.
The setback: The Restless has risen to a whopping score of 5 however I understand now why this has happened and I am equipped with the tools to deal with this. The feeling of being “never satisfied”, I know it well and in my defense this happens to creatives like me. Always seeking the next shiny object. However, I am leaning into the strengths of the Restless to name a few:
Strengths of People with the Restless Saboteur Trait:
● High energy and vitality.
● Open, curious, and spontaneous.
● Contagious enthusiasm and appreciation of life.
● Capable of great productivity and creativity.
● Energizing and engaging others in co-creation.
● Capable of great breadth of activity and pursuits.
The restless strategy is to use “busyness” as a distraction and escape from dealing with pain, anxiety, or other unpleasant emotions. I need to stay away from multitasking even if I think that I’m being super productive. It’s a saboteur lie!
These are my 3 top saboteurs right now. I’m glad I waited 11 weeks to redo the assessment and I know my PQ® core muscles are growing steadily and I am in a much better position to tame those nasty saboteurs that have been festering inside of me for so long.
I no longer need to hear my dad say: I’m proud of you! because NOW I can hear my inner voice say that all the time. And let me tell you it feels exhilarating. One step closer to transition versus being stagnant.
My Mental Fitness journey breakthroughs!
So far this has happened…
➡️ I became surprisingly aware of which nasty saboteurs are keeping me stuck, self-doubting, and unhappy. I can intercept them and exercise my brain muscle.
➡️ I don’t get triggered like before! I now manage to acknowledge them and tell them bluntly that “I don’t need you right now, do one!”. It’s super important to STOP when saboteurs are triggering me and activate my sage powers.
➡️ I joined an oil painting class which is super therapeutic and gives me the opportunity to be creative and totally myself. I can express myself freely as I want to. I’ve always sought freedom to express myself, freedom to BE me, and follow my dreams.
➡️ I managed to have time off and really reflect on my life priorities. Time off gives you a different perspective on everything and I’m implementing this same concept in all my programs. It is important to pause and reflect on what matters the most in life.
➡️ I am putting myself first because let’s face it if I feel good and happy, I will definitely perform at my best, and… others’ judgemental remarks bounce back 😂
I can now offer you a piece of this experience as a Mental Fitness Coach and I want you to experience the same because it is truly transformational.
Are you ready to smash your saboteurs and become more confident, happy, and mentally fit to face your current life and business challenges?
How would it feel to be in a state of flow on a consistent basis? Are you putting happiness first?
Don’t know if this Mental Fitness Program is a good fit for you, leave me a comment below, and let’s have a conversation to find out which saboteurs are playing havoc with you and how to go from Fearful to Fierce.
I urge you to NOT let your brain be broken and to allow yourself to explore and become the best version of yourself!
Do you want to find out how “Selling Without Selling Out Your Soul” can revolutionize your business?
When I started my business I thought that selling was too hard until I find out that selling without selling out your soul is much easier and simpler.
I had this belief that selling was too hard. At corporate, I used to be a Purchasing Manager so buying to specifications was easy and natural. However, when I was confronted with the idea of selling my services, I completely froze and that is when the struggle began.
You see, we build expectations about certain situations in life and that is why we make them even more unachievable. We start creating obstacles in our mind that keeps us away from the unfamiliar. The unfamiliar is uncomfortable and so at times we give up and don’t progress further. We create images and thoughts about the difficulty of the situation because we are afraid to adventure into the unknown.
Selling was my “unknown”.
I had to change my thinking and feeling about the traditional “sales calls”. Honestly, I had to leave the corporate talk behind and start being myself and truly listening to what my potential client wanted to achieve. I had to tap into my own story to create the customer journey in their minds.
The reality is that without being able to find your sweet spot in your sales calls, you won’t be able to sell your services.
Therefore, without mastering the Art of Selling Without Selling Out your Soul, you will have…
Very little Cashflow;
An unsuccessful Business;
And, NO group program.
I am being as transparent as possible with you here and I know exactly what you’re going through. There are no strategies that anyone can teach you that will help you master the Art of Selling. This ability resides within you. What others do is irrelevant and sometimes detrimental to your own success. You must find that sweet spot in your business where you are selling with authenticity and there is clarity in your voice and message.
Firstly you need to master the belief that you have the power to do so authentically and without pretending to be someone you’re not. Other people will feel attracted to your honesty and ethical conduct more than if you embellish your services with things that are intangible to achieve. They will feel compelled to your own message when you speak up from a place of honesty, integrity, and truth. Selling your coaching business is a People 2 People meaningful conversation.
The moment that you shift your thinking, you will be able to:
Sell with integrity;
Own your worth;
Know that others value what you offer;
The clarity in your message and marketing activities will position you as the expert;
And, you will stimulate others buying desire through the power of your story.
Why Selling with Empathy and Integrity Matters Now More than Ever!
“People with integrity do what they say they are going to do. Others have excuses.” ~ Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Believe in what you offer your clients. You can’t sell anything if you don’t see the value it provides. Know that your potential clients are looking for the solution you provide so it would be a disservice to not put it out there.
Be mindful of your client’s needs and respect their time. Listen to what they want and why they want it. Listening has been one major thing that I had to learn profoundly. I realized that my audience does not want to know the nuts and bolts of achieving what they want. They want to get to their end goal as quickly and as easily as possible. I am a VISION BUILDER and therefore now I keep that vision vivid for them and eliminate the boring details of getting to the vision.
Know their pain and empathize with it. They want to Be where you are right now. BE the guide.
- “Honesty is telling the truth whilst Integrity is staying consistent within that truth”.
Believe that your service delivers the solution. Trust that your story is going to make an impact.
Be respectful and ethical when discussing your competition.
Appreciate the fact that your prospect has taken the time to talk with you. Honor the time and space between you two, and listen more than talk.
Remain honest & loyal— even in the face of losing deals. At times is best to say NO to your prospect than a YES that doesn’t feel aligned with your purpose and mission. You’ll be able to close more sales calls if you stay true to your worth and value than selling them something that they don’t need. Seth Godin has said: “People don’t buy the products or services. They buy the relations, stories, and magic”.
I go more in-depth on this particular step in the Radical Launch System Intensive Bootcamp where I am helping you master your sales calls so you can easily convert your prospects into paying clients without feeling sleazy, pushy, or out of integrity. You’ll learn the art of selling through the power of stories and authentic sales conversations that feel great for both your client to be and you. Consequently, by the time you’re done digging deep into this crucial step, you’ll love the sales conversations almost as much as your coaching conversations!
IT’S A WRAP
Think about everything that I spoke about above and let me know if it resonates with you. The moment you start selling from a place of complete integrity, authority, and honesty, that is when things start changing for the better.
Trust and own your skills like a Sales Queen and you’ll find that you won’t go back to the old ways. Would you believe if I tell you that I have sold my services just through a simple messaging conversation? Yes, it’s true because when others know what I do and the value I provide, they’ve made the decision there and then without the need for a face-to-face conversation. The conversations took place online for a while and they knew my worth and my expertise.